I am so embracing and resisting change at the same time with all the fibers of my being these days. There are repel and attract feelings so close together that I should be magnetized.
Or something like that.
My new single, alone life has so many facets that scream "Change!"
I've always thought I was a person who welcomed and embraced change. Right now, not so sure.
There's a luxurious selfishness about my day to day life now that occasionally.... feels barren.
When I am resisting the changes, I feel fear. Afraid I am being left out, that I won't have enough, mourning what I no longer have, wishing for the familiar, the known.
When I am embracing the changes, I feel free. I'm exercising new muscles of creativity, making beauty in my space, reaching out to new people, opening my arms and psyche to new or long forgotten practices. I'm fully recognizing the transformations that come with experiencing pain, sitting with it, and getting to the other side of it. I am learning the criticalness of and how to speak my truth.
It is so valuable to remind myself like this about the two paths: Fear or Freedom.
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