I can't believe it's October. Whoops, it's the first of the month. Time to pay rent. Fork over $1800 for something I don't own. I can't say I've totally let that one go. It doesn't sit totally right. But i'll think about that Right after I finish this.... :)
Stress feels like a pretty strong word but it's true, I think about money alot. More than I used to certainly when there was more than enough to go aroound. Now I'm all about recalibrating. Sometimes I welcome this opportunity to be more selective about where my money goes, be more mindful since more choices have to be made. Don't get me wrong. I'm fully aware that I am very fortunate and enjoy plenties most of the world only dream of. Still, I think about it.
I think about it when I consider whether I should look for more of a "real" job in place of this sweet, low paying, low stress, 3 day a week one I have. More of a money cushion would be appreciated. If I had a real income, maybe I could manage to buy a little place for myself. (In addition to, for the first time in this phase of my life, thinking maybe some more structure, a "bigger" job would be engaging, stimulating, and fun) It's a see-saw kind of thought, to be sure. Because, honestly, I often respond to that recurring voice with a recurring big, fat, "Naw! This is tooo nice, the way it is now". The inner dialogue continues....
I wonder will I have "enough" for my older years. It's questionable.
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