Thursday, January 12, 2012

"He has drawn back, only in order to have enough room for his leap." ~Friedrich Nietzsche What leap are you preparing to take?

I am thinking about drawing back and preparing. Thinking about it. Wondering where the idea of looking for a new job comes from. Is it just a big fat SHOULD that is based in some kind of unnecessary expectation I have for myself that I make more money? Is it a healthy hunger for more stimulation and challenge? Is it attached to a yearning to own my own home again?

This is predictable. I think about big deciions like this for a long time before I take any action. I know it looks like I don't if you consider my actions over the last year but it harkens back to when I wanted to leave Scriptomatic and when I wanted to leave Ceridian; I seemed to need to churn about it for months before getting the courage up to actually do something.

Here's the chatter:

There are so many benefits of my current job situation. I love going to work, for one. And I love having four day weekends every week. Who wouldn't? I have health care, autonomy, great co-workers, fun software to play with and puzzles to work out. I get plenty of recognition. and there is NO drama or stress. I mean, in so many ways, it's a dream situation.

But the hard reality is that I am shaving ever so slightly off my nest egg to continue. I'm certainly not saving any money. And while I prefer the current spending behavior of making conscious choices about how I spend my money over how it was when there was a plethora of bucks (I appreciate my purchases ever so much more now), still, it brings up some fear about not having enough. Which is pretty unnecessary, considering.

Well, I leave this an unfinished conversation with myself because, well, i have to go to work!

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