How important to you is 'self-esteem'?

Phew.  This question is loaded. 
Self-esteem is something I have always lacked enough of.  Not to say I operate as a door mat.  I don't let others take advantage of me.  No, I leave that to myself.  The chatter that goes on in my head is just not that kind.  Here I am at 57 and I'm still making efforts to improve this situation.  To observe the chatter but not be of it.  To greet it with compassion.  And do my best to walk it back to it's room. 

Because, here's the thing.  If you don't have enough self-esteem, you are always looking to the outside, to others, for validation and recognition of your worth.  And guess what?  They don't always get with the program.  It shouldn't be their job, of course anyway.  I knoooooow this.  I know it should come from within.  But the consistent doing of it is another matter. 

Acceptance is the name of the game - both within and with others.  Accepting imperfection!  Because, indeed, that's Reality.  My challenge with self-esteem is exasperated by my perfectionist tendancies.  How could I ever measure up?  How can I be enough? 

I think of how I truly feel toward those I love.  How I would tell them it's okay, they don't need to be perfect.  Why can't I do it for myself more consistently?  Put on my accepting glasses when I view my behavior.  I need this more than ever now.  Now that I'm on my own.

Blessed be.  May it be so.