What do you know about love?

Okay, so that's a hum-dinger of a question to ask me at this juncture, newly divorced after some 20 years. Arrggh.
There are many different ways to show love. It's not always obvious. Because commonly people speak in the love language they prefer to receive in. (As I believe Gary Chapman pointed out in his popular book, The Five Love Languages --that I haven't actually read) Just like me to quote something I haven't read. Just like me to get off-topic when the topic is tricky, too. That's what I like about this blog thing.

I know that the love I feel for my daughter is so deep, it's an ache really. A joyous ache, if that makes any sense. I have a similar feeling about my mom, my best friends, and many members of my family of origin.

Right now with regard to a life-partner, I'm not feeling adept at love. Love is uber-confusing for me. I'm smart enough to not be wishing for the gaga-beginning butterflies in the stomach stuff. That stuff is actually uncomfortable. Maybe this is the time and place to bullet list my wish list. Phew, I wonder, who might read this. Scary stuff to document. So what, here goes.

• I'd like us to WANT to sit close some of the time. Not all of the time, mind you. But to take turns having that urge -- in the ordinary moments and of course, in the poignent moments. To touch, easily, naturally. To lean toward each other when a picture is being taken.
• I'd like us to be willing and do our best to listen to each other and acknowledge. I've recently heard clearly that I don't always make it clear that I've heard my partner. :) I have pledged to myself to work on this acknowledging, affirming stuff.
• I'd like it to be the bedrock foundation that we are in each others' corner. Which isn't to say we can't respectfully disagree. But I'd like there to be WORDS SPOKEN of support for each other on a consistent basis. Affirming.
• I'd like us to have some common interests and activities that we engage in happily together. Which isn't to say we have to be joined at the hip. And I'd like us to respect/affirm the interests we don't share.
• I'd like us to LAUGH together.
• I'd like us to feel protective of each other.
• I'd like us to be social with friends and family. To travel easily together - which isn't to say we have to travel far or frequently.
• I'd like us to be flexible with each other - or to strive to be. I guess I'm speaking to being willing to compromise. And to acknowledging the one who compromises.
• I'd like us to share a very similar perspective about money. (It's a WISH list!)
• I'd like us to be able to say we are sorry when we screw up.
• I'd like us to acknowledge the little acts of service we might do for each other and to have the thank you RECEIVED.
• I need to be with someone who accepts my extra 20 pounds. More than I do.

Okay, enough. It's aspirational, after all!